Faux pas plural written12/29/2023 ![]() If they’re a bit older, it’s okay to switch to Sie. (Happily, they agreed.) At least the transition, however late in coming, was clear for all involved!įinally, what about everyday instances like ordering food in a restaurant? Play it safe - if the waitstaff at a restaurant is your age or younger, feel free to use du. A decade into marriage, his husband exploded over a family board game, imploring his elderly parents to finally quit addressing their son-in-law with the Sie German form. My pals heartened me before my trip with tales of entire life-long friendships spent wondering whether the moment had yet come to start using the familiar address with their friends’ parents.Īn older acquaintance once told me his husband’s conservative parents were accepting of their gay son and partner. Rest assured, it isn’t easy for Germans, either. (And when it comes to making the Sie and du switch, you’re probably going to need it.)Ĭan you help me? When Can I Switch From Using the “Sie” Form to the “Du” Form?īut German isn’t simple, and neither is the nuance around making the switch from Sie to du, particularly when the question, ‘How well do we know each other?’ is subjective. Here, for example, are three different ways to ask for help. ![]() At its most basic, the rule is to use the first two for children and people you know well, and Sie with adults you don’t. There are three ways in German to directly address a person or persons - du (singular familiar), ihr (plural familiar), and Sie (single and plural formal). Du, Ihr, and Sie: The Three Forms of Address Okay, great, when would that be? We don’t know. ![]() My friends advised me to play it safe and start with the Sie form of address as a sign of respect before moving on to the du form. The only clear and simple answer was to use du with the step-siblings who, like us, were in their twenties or at the cusp of 30. And furthermore, how would I be able to tell when we were officially familiar enough to make the switch? Specifically, I wanted to know whether I should start out my stay with the more formal Sie form, and then gradually transition to the familiar du as we all got to know each other better. A few years ago, on the eve of a trip from Berlin to Bavaria to meet my boyfriend’s four grandparents, father, father’s wife, and several step-siblings for the first time, I asked a couple German friends for advice on using informal versus formal forms of German address.
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